biking ahead, biking behind, leadership

1 september

Here’s one observation: If I bike at her side, she always bike slower, and slower. If I bike ahead of her, I have to go slower myself. But if I get behind, behind enough not to even be in the corner of her eye, then I can barely keep up. She flies. 

And here another observation: when I bike at his side, and we chat and talk about this and that, and laugh and whatever else, we are checking each other. It is likely that our speed increases bit by bit. None of us wants to stay behind. We are not quite competing, but I guess we are.

I have thought about the nature of leadership for a long time now. I believe that most have left behind the need for somebody else to tell you what to do. I mean, it works. If somebody is better or wiser at whatever you are doing, and tells you what to do, you will do. But for how long? Even if there are persons willing to tell others what to do again and again, for decades without end… How long does people actually follow instructions? 

Obviously none. Obviously comes a moment that you have to tell yourself. That moment where the drill sargent, the yoga teacher, Jane Fonda or even your boss make no sense no more. That moment when you have to have made yours whatever they told you, and you need to tell it yourself.

Now, for me is kinda easy. I need somebody that is now and then better, but also now and then beatable. So we can check each other, inspire each other, defeat each other. In few words, I seem to need a competing companion, many needs competition to move forward. Think in Federer and Nadal. But also, think in the Williams sisters. Do they compete with each other, or do they support each other? Did one stayed back so thatcher other could fly? 

I know from myself that if I compete with somebody way ahead of me, is not interesting. But what if any competition would make the road not interesting for, actually, quite some people? What if we need to give a broad horizon for them to fly, instead of a pushing companion-competitor at the side? 

I have biked with her 80 kilometers, which are her comfortable limit. After that, exhaustion. Today, when we were around the 60, she actually fly away. That was not so surprising, but then it went on and on. Crossing a road, when we stopped to let some cars pass, she actually let one of her espactacular laughs loose. And then she biked away. 

Perhaps we need to stay behind more often.